Adoption week 2026 "Every day is everything"

The theme of this year’s National Adoption Week is “Every Day Is Everything” — a phrase designed to highlight the alarming disparity between the number of children waiting to be adopted (2,060) and the number of approved adopters (640).

However, as with many slogans, this is only one part of an increasingly complex jigsaw puzzle that is modern adoption.

When I was a young adult, I remember telling my family that I would like to adopt one day. Ours was a slightly complex family set-up, and we had always welcomed people into our home. My two brothers (half-brothers by biology, not by value!) have a different father and were adopted by my father shortly after I was born, to ensure equality on every level. I am grateful for that early example and have always held on to the belief that family is about far more than biology.

Fast forward to a few years after I married, when we discovered that fertility issues would mean a LONG journey towards building our own family. During this time, we began to discuss adoption again as a possible way forward: a positive, hope-filled route grounded in the belief that biology is certainly not the only path to parenthood.

After six years and two IVF children, we began exploring this next chapter, considering the move from fertility treatment to adoption — something I have since helped the British Fertility Society distil into a factsheet for others facing the same transition.

For us, the adoption process felt much easier than the years of uncertainty associated with IVF. There was a child out there for us; we simply had to navigate the various hoops to get there.

The charity we adopted through certainly went to great lengths to explain the impact of trauma and the potential additional needs that many children might bring with them. One example was an acronym that was new to us both: FASD, or foetal alcohol spectrum disorder, an issue believed to affect a significant proportion of children in care.

Like many prospective adopters, however, we were keen to keep moving forward. We were buoyed by the knowledge that a child needed a home and that, as a family of four, we had the space and capacity to provide one.

When we were finally matched with a child of just 12 months old, we felt utterly elated. As parents already, we were convinced we would know what to do.

We were wrong.

We soon discovered just how different various forms of parenting can be.

But I cannot stress this enough: different, not less than.

Our son came to live with us, and we soon discovered that, like his birth siblings, he had been born with FASD — the acronym that would come to shape so much of our family life from that point onwards.

The challenges, from sleep difficulties and hypervigilance to emotional dysregulation, would shape our world in ways I could never have foreseen. Our son is warm, engaging and funny, and he is GREAT with animals. He is also a child with needs far beyond what we were equipped to manage.

We tried everything we could think of: reading books, seeking help, attending three parenting courses, accessing parenting coaching, seeing CAMHS, pursuing medical support, securing an emergency Education, Health and Care Plan (EHCP), and exploring several specialist schools.

The reality was that he needed more support, and always will. We did too.

Three years ago, with the help of our local authority, we finally had to acknowledge that we could not have the family home we had always envisaged. Our family would need to take a different shape.

As a result, we experienced what many people simplistically refer to as an adoption breakdown, when, for safety reasons, our son needed to live elsewhere.

I would argue, however, that this is not a breakdown but a reimagining of what family looks like. We still love, parent and see our son. It is simply not safe for him to live with us.

We have, after all, ended up with a family — just not the one we could ever have imagined.

According to Adoption UK’s annual Barometer report, four out of every ten adoptive families face severe challenges or are in crisis. This certainly reflects what I have seen among other families I know, too. It must be part of the backdrop to both “Every Day Is Everything” and #YouCanAdopt.

Because two truths need to sit side by side.

Adoption is vital, and we urgently need more families. But adoption, particularly in its current form, can also be a complex and, at times, almost unmanageable system.

Into this space, there have been welcome developments from the Government, although it is fair to say that months of uncertainty surrounding the adoption support fund did little to reassure families.

There has been an acknowledgement that the support families receive is patchy, that the Adoption and Special Guardianship Support Fund has focused on only one part of the support landscape, and that the fund alone is not enough to address the challenges families face.

A public consultation was announced, alongside discussions about a new system of lifelong support, with a particular focus on transitions. Ultimately, I would fully endorse Adoption UK’s call for a legal right to lifelong, needs-led support if we are to move beyond the statistics and genuinely address the number of families in crisis.

So, what do I hope to see over the next few years?

• Needs-led support as the default. A clear pathway of tailored support for every adoptive child and family, rather than waiting and hoping that everything will be fine after placement.

• A much greater focus on FASD. We need to see greater awareness and understanding of foetal alcohol spectrum disorder across society and within Government. The work we undertook here in Hackney when I was civic Mayor provides a really positive starting point.

• Investment in peer-led support. Adoptive families need opportunities to connect with people who understand their experiences, helping to reduce the isolation so many feel.

  
  

The theme of this year’s National Adoption Week, “Every Day Is Everything”, is an excellent starting point. But it must be understood in the context of the whole adoption journey — and, crucially, the needs and demands that emerge after adoption.

If we can get this right and genuinely support not just the child but the entire system around them, then adoption can become what it was always intended to be:

A route to parenthood of equal value and merit to any other, underpinned by the understanding, resources and lifelong support that children and families need to thrive.